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Cultural values can make decision-making hard
By: Jas Cheema
April 03, 2005
Many find it difficult in choosing to do what others think is right versus doing what you think is right. The answer to what you choose many
lie in your cultural values. In a collectivist culture, the emphasis is more on doing what others think is right. Collectivist cultures
value the acceptance of the group (family, friends, and society) as more important than one's personal needs. In individualistic cultures
the emphasis is more on the individual's needs and desires. Making decisions can become very difficult if you're brought up in one culture
and the society around you practices another. I'm sure everyone's felt the pressure at some time or another to dress in a certain way, act
in a certain way. I think though that what "others think" is everyone's worst enemy.
Sometimes even wrongs in society will be overlooked for fear of being "different." Many will tell you that the caste system is wrong and that
inter-caste marriages should be accepted. But will those same people let their own son/daughter marry into another caste? I was speaking to a
young girl whose parents wouldn't let her join the school soccer team for fear of what the relatives will say. If we constantly live our lives
in fear of what others will think regardless of our own desires, it will certainly leave us feeling inadequate. People will always be judgmental,
stereotype, criticize, be jealous and downplay any of your efforts. If we take these criticisms to heart, it will destroy our self-confidence
and in turn our self-worth. Having a strong self worth and believing in your abilities and values is the key to moving ahead in life. People
who are secure in their abilities and are at peace with who they are glow with confidence. People love being around them as these people are
generally very positive. There will always be people that are better, prettier, and/or more educated than you. I always like to look at the
cup as half full than empty, always appreciate everything you have than waste time thinking about everything you want. But if you're from a
collectivist culture, how do your balance your needs with that of your family's?
The answer is open communication, sharing your values, morals, goals and ideas with your loved ones. That is crucial to helping build an
understanding relationship. Where love and respect for each other overrule the desire to control, the question of having individual needs
met doesn't come up as often. In these relationships, people are willing to make sacrifices for the good of the whole and everyone is
looking out for each other's happiness.
Jas Cheema's column, Across Cultures, appears in The Leader twice a month, and addresses a variety of cultural and social issues.
Send your comments or questions to jascheema@barkel.com but please don't send attachments. They will not be opened.
© Copyright 2005 Surrey Leader
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